


Can't Let You Go

by Imhereatm



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Gen, TW mention of self sacrifice, mention of 12x10 characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22996753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imhereatm/pseuds/Imhereatm
Summary: A bit of 12x10 and the aftermathOnce upon a time, there was a traveller who was known as the ‘Doctor’. She travelled through the whole universe. Through time and space. Nothing stopped her. She searched for adventures far and wide, be it a simple ‘I want to try their cuisine’ type, or ‘These species need my help’ kind. Whatever it was, she was there- accidentally or not. Wherever she went she always left a trace of herself and unbeknownst to her, she left a big piece of herself in this one human.
Relationships: The Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien, Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair, Yasmin Khan & Sonya Khan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	Can't Let You Go

Once upon a time, there was a traveller who was known as the ‘Doctor’. She travelled through the whole universe. Through time and space. Nothing stopped her. She searched for adventures far and wide, be it a simple ‘I want to try their cuisine’ type, or ‘These species need my help’ kind. Whatever it was, she was there- accidentally or not. Wherever she went she always left a trace of herself and unbeknownst to her, she left a big piece of herself in this one human.

  
Humans. This young species has always piqued her interest because of their endless curiosity. Yes, they have made many mistakes time and time again, but they are resilient, always ready to rebuild and make a better world for themselves. And this human is one of this amazing species.

  
This human, Yaz- as the Doctor decided to call her- met this enigmatic traveller by accident. And from that moment on, her life changed. She accompanied the Doctor in her travels throughout the universe with her mate, Ryan and his grandpa, Graham. But in Yaz’s mind, there was no one more interesting than the Doctor. However many planets or timelines they travelled to, Yaz had always thought that the most interesting thing about it all was the Doctor.

  
And there they were in a different TARDIS. Not the Doctor’s TARDIS- the one Yaz calls her second home. The Doctor explained why she had to sacrifice herself for the good of the universe, for all of them. This ragtag group of humans- four of whom were the last humans on this timeline- Yaz’s future. But she didn’t care about that, all she cared about was the Doctor was once again saving them.

  
How many times has she saved their lives? And this one time Yaz thought she finally succeeded in saving the Doctor she was off saving them again. How many more times did she have to do that?

  
Yaz looked into the Doctor’s eyes and she could see the pain, the sadness in the way she looked at every single one of them as if it was the last time she would ever see them. The Doctor’s eyes lingered on Yaz. She forced herself to look somewhere else but Yaz caught that one last glance at her. And she knew. She knew then that this was not the first time the Doctor had ever forced herself to let go of the people she cared about.

  
Yaz had travelled to so many places, to so many timelines that the Doctor happily brought them to. Yet with all the time they’ve spent together, Yaz barely knew the Doctor. But that one glance, it was all she needed to grab a hold of the Doctor’s hand- only for the Doctor to tell her to let go.

  
“Please.”

  
That one word. In a tone that almost sounded like begging. Yaz could see it in the Doctor’s eyes but she didn’t want to give up easily. She held her ground. It was only when Ryan called her name that she realised there was no way she could stop the Doctor. However painful it was for Yaz to let the Doctor go, she did. This was the Doctor’s choice.

  
And when they landed back in twenty-first century Sheffield, she couldn’t help saying out loud, “But what happens to her?”

  
Graham tried to explain that they should do what the Doctor told them to do. To live great lives. Lives that the Doctor would be proud of. That she wouldn’t want their lives to waste away waiting for her. That they should move on.

  
But Yaz thought, she may have said that but deep down the Doctor didn’t want them to just forget about her. The adventures they had. The Doctor’s greatest fear was that people forget about her and just move on with their lives as if all those adventures never happened. That they were living a fantasy when they were with her. That it was now time to move on to reality.

  
“Yaz, I know how hard this might be for you- to let the Doc go. But believe me, you’ll be doing yourself a favour, not just her.” Graham said as they waited for a bus to bring them back home. Ryan was making sure their companions didn’t run across the road.

  
“But Graham, she’s all alone. You remember how disappointed she’d get whenever it was time for us to go back home? She’d play it off like it was nothing. That she needed to fix the TARDIS or visit some planet. She’d say it was nice to finally have time for herself. But we don’t know what she actually feels when she’s alone. She has this giddiness when we’re with her. Like a child who finally has found friends to play with.” Yaz paused, tears threatening to roll down her cheeks.

  
“Think of it this way, if we keep living our best lives, we’re fulfilling her wish. We’re doing what she wants us to do.” Graham placed a hand on Yaz’s shoulder.

  
“She’s not dead Graham!” Yaz turned to face Graham and she had let her tears fall freely. Upon realising what she had said, she apologised. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

  
Ryan heard Yaz yelling at Graham and begun to make his way towards the two. But Graham shakes his head towards his grandson and mouths “It’s okay.” After making sure the two of them were alright, Ryan went back to looking after the others.

  
“Look, if you really don’t want to forget about the Doc that easily, not that I will or Ryan either- if he does, I’ll smack him in the head,” that made Yaz smile just a little bit. “then travel the world. Volunteer abroad or study history if you want to. Do whatever will make you happy.”

  
“I don’t know if I’ll be happy doing those things without her Graham.” Yaz leaned forward, her elbows resting on her thighs. Her hands held tightly together Graham began to worry if she’s getting any circulation in them.

  
“You know when we had that talk before, when I said you were the most interesting person there is?” Yaz looked up at him and nodded. “Well I was trying to tell you that I knew you liked the Doctor. But I didn’t know you loved her this much.”

  
Yaz looked at him dumbfounded, “I, I never…”

  
“It’s alright Yaz. Love whoever you love. Anyone would be lucky to have you, especially the Doc. And if she doesn’t see that, well she’ll have me coming for her. She might be an immortal alien but that won’t stop me. What do you say, eh?”

  
Yaz hugged Graham so tight that he thought he was almost half-way to meeting Grace. “Thank you” was all Yaz could say.

  
When Yaz finally let him breath, Graham said, “Whatever you do Yaz, me and Ryan will always be here for you. And you have your family too. Whatever happens we’re all here. We’ll all help each other out. We’ll help Ravio, Yedlarmi and Ethan settle in to twenty-first century Sheffield. Because that’s the reason why the Doc saved us.”

  
“Yeah, to live our lives. For the Doctor and for Grace.” This time, it was Graham who teared up.

_Nearly 10 months later……._

  
Yaz’s mum has practically invited the whole block for the New Year’s party. Everyone Yaz knows are there, except for the one person she really wants to be there. But she doesn’t let that dampen everyone’s mood. Everyone knows at this point who she’s thinking about.

  
She first told her sister Sonya who was just ecstatic that Yaz finally told her. Sonya was there to support Yaz when she told their parents Najia and Hakim. Najia was more open minded about it all. Their dad was less so. However, as time passed, he had come to warm up to the fact that Yaz liked women specifically the Doctor. Ryan figured it out himself and talked to Yaz about it.

  
The less time she spent at home and the more time she spent volunteering, as Graham suggested all those months ago, helped her focus her energy towards doing something good. And tonight, that is exactly what she’s doing- focusing her energy towards helping her mum prepare for “The New Year’s party everyone will be talking about for months”.

  
As the night approaches closer to midnight, Najia says, “Everyone head over to the green and come back in for more food afterwards.” She leads the crowd towards the green with Hakim just behind her. Graham, Ryan and their new friends behind them. Sonya and Yaz trailing behind the crowd making sure everyone has a sparkler each.

  
“How are you doing exactly? And don’t sugar-coat it.” Sonya tells her older sister.

  
“I miss her, Sonya. I miss her every day. I miss her so much it hurts. I think of her before I fall asleep and she’s the first person I think of when I wake up. I’m worried that she’s out there by herself or worse she’s replaced us- replaced me.”

  
The crowd begins the count down. _10…..9…..8…..7…..6….._

  
The sisters don’t join in, instead they continue their conversation.

  
_5….._

  
“If she has, I’ll personally hunt her down.”

  
_4….._

  
“You won’t have a hope of finding her.”

  
_3….._

  
“You just watch me.”

  
_2….._

  
Yaz smiles as she sighs, “I guess I’m just getting tired of waiting.”

  
_1….._

  
“Then I’m grateful and very lucky you waited this long. Gold star to you Yasmin Khan.”

  
Yaz turns around. What she sees in front of her seems surreal. The Doctor is there with a sparkler dangerously close to the rainbow scarf she wore the New Year before. Yaz gives her sparkler to her sister who then takes the Doctor’s as well. Sonya walks away and joins the crowd with her two extra sparklers.

  
“Happy New Year Yaz.” The Doctor moves close to Yaz, tilting her head slightly. Yaz meets her halfway and excitedly kisses the Doctor.

**Author's Note:**

> So my brain had loads of ideas whirring around and this is what came out of it. Hope you like it :)
> 
> Edit: I put in some spacing so it actually looks like it has some structure. I'm still new to this. Please bear with me :)


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